Aliens are awesome. Millions of aliens invading are awesomer. This week, I run down the greatest alien invasions across media. These are the biggest alien invasions. None of those one alien to conquer Earth. This is world versus world - where the fate of Earth hangs in the balance. So let’s see the different species desperate for a date with mankind.

7. Independence Day (1996)

You’ve got everything you could - huge alien ships destroying major world landmarks and Will Smith. Okay, maybe there’s something things you don’t want, but Independence Day certainly presents on of the best alien invasions summer blockbuster money can buy.

On July 2nd, several alien ships hover over the major cities of the world. The aliens wait until they are all into position before they unleash a massive energy blast, destroying whole cities. The President (played by Bill Pullman, obviously) uses the advice of scientist David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum) and hot-shot pilot Steven Hiller (Will Smith, who’s dating an exotic dancer, you know, for character development) to upload a virus into the alien ships, giving humans an opening to destroy the invasion force. Even though most every major city is wiped off the face of the Earth, everyone is happy about winning and still wondering when the sequel will happen.

6. Mars Attacks (1996)

Corny, creepy, and featuring Tom Jones. How can this at all be good? Well thankfully this is a list of the great alien invasions, not great movies. Tim Burton’s Mars Attacks, based on a series of, yes, trading cards, is spoof on all the classic alien invasions, from cliched flying saucers to toy-looking ray guns.

The skull-headed looking aliens arrive on Earth and are invited to speak at Congress where they kill the entire legislative body in a single blast: and on national television. And Mars Attacks, which was released shortly after Independence Day, spoofs the destruction of landmarks, dropping the Washington Monument on a troop of boy scouts, melted the Eiffel Tower, and used the Easter Island statues as bowling pins.

And for simplicity sake, the Martians were defeated by some truly painful yodeling music, “Indian Love Call” by Slim Whitman, which made the Martian’s heads explode. Yay for happy endings.

5. Ultimates #7-13 “Homeland Security” (2004)

So some shapeshifting aliens are planning to invade Earth? Who ya gonna call? Since the Avengers weren’t answering their interdimentional telephone, the alternate universe version, the Ultimates, came to the rescue. The second story arc for Marvel’s Avengers modern-age revamp sent Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, the Hulk, and an entire brigade of S.H.I.E.L.D. soldiers against a hidden Chitauri base. The shapeshifting Chitauri, it seems, had set a trap for the Ultimates. For all we knew, the Ultimates were killed in a massive explosion.

With no one to be drawn in their way, the Chitauri set a bomb to destroy the entire solar system. Of course, the Ultimates survived the explosion and launched a counter-assault, in the air and on the land in one massive, world-engulfing war. And when things still weren’t going so well, Captain America called in their secret weapon, the Hulk, who no qualms about killing or eating the aliens. After Thor teleports the bomb to another dimension, in ash and rubble of Washington D.C., the Ultimates proudly stand having saved the world from the greatest comic book alien invasion.

4. Halo series (2001)

After spending one whole game trying to lead the evil alien Covenant away from Earth, you gotta feel like a failure. Cause once Halo 2 comes around, well, it’s on. Playing as Xbox mascot Master Chief, you must defend Earth’s interstellar civilization from the religious and technically superior Covenant. The Covenant believe humanity is an affront to their gods, the Forerunners, and so Earth must be destroyed. The invasion goes all-out with next-gen technology in Halo 3 as you finish the fight to save Earth and galaxy (because Earth is very important to the galaxy always). The game takes you all over Earth, with the Chief and his Marines blasting their way through alien scum on every continent.

One of the most successful and addictive video game franchises, Halo not only provides such an over-the-top storyline that only video games can provide, but also lets players imagine the rest of the unseen battles through extensive and unmatched multiplayer matches. Did Independence Day let you do that? No? I didn’t think so.

3. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)

If aliens take over the world, and no one knows, is it still an invasion? Well, I say it not only is, but it’s amazing. The classic film Invasion of the Body Snatchers shows the citizens of a small California town being replaced by Pod People - emotionless alien replacements who help spread more pods around the world. But the warnings are too late. By the time the authorities are warned, the pods have spread and the world is doomed.

This B-grade horror movie evolved into a classic tale of an alternative to the alien invasion, taking over not with weapons but by taking over humans. And nothing’s scarier than humans who don’t respect your boundaries. It’s why I avoid my neighbor at all costs.

2. Cylons invade the Twelve Colonies (2004)

Most of the time, humans lose the battle but win the war. Well, in Battlestar Galactica, there aren’t enough humans left to win. Within minutes of the first episode, the robotic Cylons wipe out the entire human population across twelve planets. Only 40,000 humans are left, nomads in space searching for the lost thirteenth colony, Earth.

And this is the invasion that never ends. The Cylons continue hunting the remaining humans across the galaxy. And in addition to occupying the original colonies, the Cylons followed the humans to their settlement on a new planet, New Caprica. It’s two invasions in one!

1. War of the Worlds (1898)

A classic book, several movies, radio show, video game, musical, and even some comic book adaptations make War of the Worlds the standard all alien invasions are measured against. Written by H.G. Wells in 1898, War of the Worlds told of an army of Martians invading Earth with giant, tripod walking machines with powerful heat-rays. The Martians destroyed all of Earth’s defenses, sending everyone, including Tom Cruise, running for the hills. And in one of the most unique ending of all, the Martians were eventually defeated not by man, but by our viruses - microbes the aliens had no immunity to.

War of the Worlds would have earned a top stop on timelessness and influence alone, but for extra credit, many people believed Martians were actually attacking. In 1938, Orson Welles performed a radio show based on the novel as a news reel causing an approximate one million listens to believe the broadcast to be real.

And if Orson Welles likes it, it must be good.

Every Monday, I force my opinion on you, my fearless readers, ranking the seven of something geeky.