Many of us dream of being our favorite super-hero, from living the exciting adventuring life to having kick-ass super powers.  We forget, though, how much being these characters sucks.  Most of them have died multiple times (Mr. Fantastic).  Some have tragic, depressing, haunting lives (Batman) that just keep getting worse and worse (Daredevil).  Some heroes can’t get a date because they’re pathetic (Spider-Man) or ugly (Nightcrawler).  This list weighs all the pros and cons, from great powers and fringe benefits to number of times dead, of literally living the life, continuity blips and all, of major super heroes to find out the lives most worth living.

7. Iron Man

He’s an alcoholic with major father issues and shrapnel in his chest.  But he does have billions of dollars and lots of women to sleep with. That means it’s easy to cure the syphilis I’m sure he gets on a regular basis.  Tony Stark’s life offers the best toys, cars, and women money can buy, but you’ll have to spend every few months in rehab or rebuilding your business from scratch.  There’s also your teenage version from an alternate future who replaces you at least once, but that’s no biggie - everyone just things you got plastic surgery to look younger and even more fabulous.

6. Flash (Wally West)

This is the simple life in fast forward.  You have a sweet wife and adorable twins with super speed (ouch).  Of course you died recently and had the entire world mind-wiped to forget your secret identity, but everything is pleasant now, repelling alien invasions and teaming up with the Justice League just like you always wanted to as a child (when you were Kid Flash, remember).  But now you’ve got the wife, two kids, and super duper speed.  It’s the American Dream.

5. Mr. Fantastic

Super smart, super hot wife, but you die a lot.  Being the smartest man in the world makes you more susceptible to death, it seems, as Mr. Fantastic is often found missing, dead, to just off for a while.  But  since you’re the smartest man in the world, you can fix all that by, well, fixing it. You do have to spend time taking care of your two kids (or inventing a robot to do that for you) and you often run out of money, but since you’re so smart, you can just patent something new and viola, you’re rich again.  Back to tinkering.

4. Dr. Strange

You once were an arrogant prick of a surgeon who lost the use of his hands.  But now you can fly, travel through dimensions, and show off the best card tricks to chicks at the bar.  Dr. Strange, the Sorcerer Supreme, lives reclusively in his Sanctum Sanctorum, protected from the evils of the world like dragons and Jehovah’s Witnesses, all while being one of the most powerful super heroes in the world.  You can kick Iron Man’s ass if you wanted to and take all his money.

3. She-Hulk

It’s not easy being green, but one day as She-Hulk will convince you otherwise.  I assume, hopefully incorrectly, that most of my readers are male (email me if I’m wrong, ladies, please), but I nevertheless recommend Jennifer Walters’ amazing duel life.  As the mousy attorney, Walters is smart, successful, and kinda cute.  Then she turns into seven feet of leggy, green woman, proud and unashamed.  You’ll have to sleep with Juggernaut once, but the rest is smooth sailing.

2. Human Torch

Hot, brash, and covered in fire is what all the youth want these days, right?  The fun-loving Human Torch doesn’t let himself get bothered by grown up matters like humility or STDs. He’d rather sleep with super models, get record deals, and fly around just for fun.  That’s what life is like as the Human Torch - fun.  Ignore the alien Skrull who you marry and lays your baby in a giant egg that then tries to kill you.  Beyond that, it’s all fun.  Except when you “died.”  But come on, who hasn’t in comic book land.

1. Superman

Speaking of death, even the super hero it’s best to be has died.  In fact, his entire planet died.  He’s the last…second to last…45th to last and counting from his destroyed planet of Krypton.  But since that happened at such a young age, it doesn’t count.  You do have to grow up in Kansas, sadly, but eventually you move to the big city, get a great job as a reporter, win a Pulitzer, bag a hot wife, and get to be one of the most powerful and idolized beings on the planet.  People love Superman.  He’s almost as recognizable as Mickey Mouse and Jesus.  Those are some major players and you’re a part of them.  As Superman.