Many of us dream of being our favorite super-hero, from living the exciting adventuring life to having kick-ass super powers.  We forget, though, how much being these characters sucks.  Most of them have died multiple times (Mr. Fantastic).  Some have tragic, depressing, haunting lives (Batman) that just keep getting worse and worse (Daredevil).  Some heroes can’t get a date because they’re pathetic (Spider-Man) or ugly (Nightcrawler).  This list weighs all the pros and cons, from great powers and fringe benefits to number of times dead, of literally living the life, continuity blips and all, of major super heroes to find out the lives most worth living.

7. Iron Man

He’s an alcoholic with major father issues and shrapnel in his chest.  But he does have billions of dollars and lots of women to sleep with. That means it’s easy to cure the syphilis I’m sure he gets on a regular basis.  Tony Stark’s life offers the best toys, cars, and women money can buy, but you’ll have to spend every few months in rehab or rebuilding your business from scratch.  There’s also your teenage version from an alternate future who replaces you at least once, but that’s no biggie - everyone just things you got plastic surgery to look younger and even more fabulous.

6. Flash (Wally West)

This is the simple life in fast forward.  You have a sweet wife and adorable twins with super speed (ouch).  Of course you died recently and had the entire world mind-wiped to forget your secret identity, but everything is pleasant now, repelling alien invasions and teaming up with the Justice League just like you always wanted to as a child (when you were Kid Flash, remember).  But now you’ve got the wife, two kids, and super duper speed.  It’s the American Dream.

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Addition is a serious issue, and geeks are grossly susceptible. Unfortunately for serious geeks, we can have several addictions, each costing about as much as something classy like cigarettes or cocaine. The problem is the hobby begins to feed itself - if you’ve been doing something for 10 years, why stop?

Case in point, I’ve been a compulsive action figure collector for years, amassing a solid 300 plus figures.  I open the boxes, display them in awkward positions, and have oodles of fun.  Recently, my interests, especially financial, have been more focused on video games leaving me less budget for action figures forcing me to prioritize - the new Marvel Legends or dinner.

The problem is my action figure collection is so large, it begins to feed itself.  I want to buy more figures just to justify the figures I already bought.  If I stop buying them, it makes the first 300 look like a waste of money.  And that would be silly.

The challenge is always time and money.  I now have more video games than I have time to play, more comic books than I have time to read, too many movies and TV shows to watch, and obviously no social life.  So it’s always a challenge when I want to buy something else, but can’t figure out where to fit it.

For action figures, I’ve slowed my purchasing, weaning myself off the addition.  I still buy figures I’ve had on my must list for a while like Ra’s Al Ghul and upcoming Despero.  Thankfully Hasbro’s take on Marvel Legends is so crappy otherwise this would be much more of a struggle.  Of course, new Battlestar Galactica figures are just too tempting.

So I’m not really one to help you cure the addictions.  Better to just come up with justifications.  Me, I promise to stop after the I get my life-size Lee Adama figure.

There are many factions within the geek community, most viciously opposing and plot the death of other factions. Just try to get a Star Trek fan to agree with a Star Wars fan on anything. The truth is there is a hierarchy of geeks, and geeks in higher parts of that hierarchy are well in their power to look down on those lower in the hierarchy, the same way jocks and cheerleaders look down on all geeks. This list ranks the geekiest of geek hobbies in, well, order of geekiness. Enjoy one of these doesn’t make you a bad person. Just really, really geeky.

7. Star Wars geek

When it comes to sci-fi geekdom, Star Wars wins. It’s just huge, with every comic book, novel, action figure, and video game to collect, memorize, and horde. No other single franchise can match this insanity.

How to know if you are one: You have read anything Star Wars related outside of the 6 movies

Wastes money on: Anything Star Wars related outside of the 6 movies

6. Anime

Pokemon has helped turn anime into a less embarrassing hobby, as long as you are younger than 12. Once you his puberty, it’s time to hide those big-eyed cartoons and start watching South Park. But some geeks can’t break the habit. They just love the speed lines.

How to know if you are one: You understand anime

Wastes money on: Subtitle software and Japanese lessons

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Intended to be a throwaway creation to end a dying title, writer Stan Lee and artist Steve Ditko had no idea what he had created the day Spider-Man was born. Enraged at his uncle’s murder, Spider-Man finds the burglar, defeats him, and then learns the murder was the same man he saw earlier that day. He had ignored the opportunity he had to stop him. Thus, the burger remained free to kill Spider-Man’s uncle. The high morals that propelled Spider-Man into a life of heroics made him identifiable to his readers and an instant success. Since, Spider-Man has grown to be one of the most popular comic characters ever with blockbuster movies and top selling comics. The imitations followed with teen heroes finding a place on the news racks after Spider-Man stuck himself on them.

One of the best parts of any geek movie is debating the casting. Fan favorites are chosen years before comics or books even get optioned by Hollywood, so we feel strongly about our opinions. While dreams can’t always come true, and rarely do, here are some of the best performances by actors portraying our favorite geek icons.

7. Chris Evans as Human Torch

Amid the bright and perky mediocrity that is the Fantastic Four movie, Chris Evans shines surprisingly bright. Even without being blond, Evans played the arrogant, womanizing, spotlight stealing narcissist as if he lived the role everyday. Every funny like came from this man’s mouth. On top of that, but this guy has a real super-hero’s body, and filmmakers didn’t seem to mind showing off that fake, regulating Evans to nothing but a towel or spandex for the majority of both films.

6. Mickey Rourke as Marv

Innovative film techniques alone didn’t make Sin City one of the greatest comic book movies. Mickey Rourke portrayed Sin City’s most recognizable hero with all the subtly of a fist to the face, just the way he should. Rourke mixed Marv’s self-hatred with a chiseled exterior, eventuated by the awesome visual effects, creating the perfect movie representation of the modern film noir bad ass.

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I don’t mean to condone or glorify the acts of these, disturbed individuals. The truth is serial killers are damn captivating characters, with their arrogance, creativity, and lust for blood. It’s fun to root for the villains, these deplorable cretins obsessed with death and destruction. These are the coolest serial killers who you don’t want to meet in a dark or even well lit alley. (Spoilers included)

7. Michael Myers

The featured killer of the Halloween movies, Michael Myers began his career killing his older sister. Fifteen years later he escaped his sanitarium, returning to his home town to kill teenagers especially Jamie Lee Curtis who managed to fend off the fiend long enough for help to arrive. But after every movie, Myers manages to survive gunshots, car crashes, explosions, and more to return again for more murder and mayhem.

6. Norman Bates

Alfred Hitchcock’s classic film Psycho inspired a generation to take baths. Bates suffers from dissociative identity disorder, dressing up and pretending to be his mother. He developed this to deal with murdering his mother who spent years abusing him. His classic shower murder of Marion Crane remains his crowning achievement, but anytime Bates, or his mother, were threatened, the mother took over and took care of business.

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Most bad guys don’t provide obvious calling cards.  That’s where detectives come in.  These masters of deduction break through the lies and deceptions and put together clues to uncover what wasn’t mean to be found.  Being a truly master detective requires not only a brilliant mind, but an equally brilliant rival to provide the challenge, proving their skill.  Here are the 7 most unique and masterful detectives.

7. Philip Marlowe

One of the classic hard-broiled film noir classic style detectives, Philip Marlowe is known for his repartee as much as his drinking.  Detective work falls somewhere in between.  Featured in several dozen books and movies, Marlowe stops drinking and smoking just  enough to launch his successful private detective agency, exposing murders, blackmailers, and femme fatales of all kinds.

6. Robert Goren

The most serious crimes are handled by detectives of the Major Case Squad.  The most serious of those cases are handled by Detective Robert Goren.  Goren focuses on the psychology of the criminals, often playing on that psychology to get criminals to reveal themselves.  He has an incredible memory and sense of smell (very handy) combined with odd social tendencies leading some to believe he suffers from some kind of high-functioning autism which would be supported by his obsession with solving crimes.

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Reading books sucks, unless those books teach you something like, say, magic.  These 7 masters of mystics have done their reading and know all the best, most flashy, and powerful spells in the book(s). 

7. Malificent

Best known for her master Sleeping Beauty curse, this mistress of the dark arts has a real fire inside her.  Yup, a dragon joke.  Sure the pretty Prince Charming stabbed her an apparently killed her, but the Kingdom Hearts video game series showed she can spring back from anything - even a little boy with a giant key.

6. Voldemort

The Dark Lord has cheated death and has remained one of the most fearsome names in magic even though he was beaten by a little baby.  Hubris aside, Voldemort’s got a bevy of scary spells from the Killing Curse to mind control and talking to snakes (and he looks like one too).  Maybe if he stopped fighting adults and took kids seriously he’d be alive and higher on the list.

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When Stan Lee and Jack Kirby introduced the Fantastic Four to a new generation of super hero fans, they thought the team would be their swan song. Why else would Stan Lee make such weird characters. Mr. Fantastic spoke with such big words. The Thing was a right from classic literature. And Invisible Girl certainly didn’t know her proper place as a woman. But the Fantastic Four turned out to be a revolutionary success - a fantastic display of what real people might be like if they became superheroes. They had no secret identities, fought with each other, and couldn’t hold on to money for more than an issue. Their pain made for amazing comic books unlike anything before ushering in the Marvel Age of awesome comics.

Die-hard comic fans loved bragging about film director Kevin Smith’s love of comics.  The acclaimed indie director was growing in mainstream popularity when he decided to take some time away from making real money to actually writing comics.  Smith teamed up with artist Joe Quesada to relaunch Daredevil in what turned out to be a creative renaissance, however controversial, for the character.  Smith went on to write several other popular runs and is partly credited with bringing more mainstream talent to the comic book community.