There are many dates only geeks are geeky enough to suggest, and some of those are amazing even for non-geeks. But some geek dates aren’t welcoming to the non-geek crowd. But this doesn’t have to ruin the experience. These risky ventures to geek havens can be made enjoyable for anybody with some skill.

Sci-fi and comic book conventions

The sight of women dressed and aliens and fat men in spandex will scare any person, but those less familiar with our culture will be particularly put off. Make sure you dress normal, maybe even a little up (we’ve talked about sport coats as casual wear, this is the perfect event to wear one with a comic booky shirt). This way you show your fun and mature side at once. Spending your time will be challenging - you have to let your date pick what to do based on your suggestions. There should be no waiting on lines of any kind except for food or the bathroom. Unless your date is dying to meet Storm Trooper #6, make your way to the retailers and treat it like a geeky flea market.

Comic book store

I always consider it a right of passage for my serious relationships to see my comic store, mostly to see if it scares them away or worse, if they think Rob Liefeld art is good. If your comic book store is having some big event, like Free Comic Book Day, bring your date along for an innocent afternoon of pizza and geekery. Let them pick something out and buy it for them to try out. No pressure, but leaving a store with something always makes the experience more rewarding.

Gaming tournament

There is no way to make a date fun if you are competing, but if you’re just there to watch, the company can be welcome. Whether it’s tabletop or video games, watching anyone of skill can be impressive and this is the perfect time to talk down your skill and make your date feel better when they play games with you.

Geek movie

Can’t wait to see the biggest sci-fl flick of the weekend? I’d avoid bringing a date. You want to pay attention to the movie, not your date. That’s spells trouble if your date wants to pay attention to you. This is why I had to see Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow twice.

You might be dying to see the new Star Wars convention or check out the opening of an anime store, but not everyone shares our love for standing in line to see CGI or crazy hair. But you can use your geekiness to impress your date by thinking of common interests the average Joe (or Joey) might forget about.

Laser tag

It’s immature, frantic, energetic, and might include little kids running around, but that just proves it’s an excellent first date. It’s casual and lets you interact with your date, while creating good conversation material for the hot dog dinner afterward about who kicked who’s ass (looser buys, and you always let your date win…at least until the third).

Movie/music festival or convention

As long as it doesn’t feature anything called Star _____ or cartoons from foreign countries, this is a great date. The best kind are all day events, found in most cities (scheduling can be a chore) where you can walk around looking at salespeople’s displays of old movie posters, costumes, and other hilarious trivia. Plus, with tons of screenings and shows, you give your date options.

Arcades

Girls and even some guys scoff at arcades, and while they’re hard to find, everyone ends up having a good time because, let’s be honest, video games are awesome. It sucks to spend the money at an arcade when you have every system at home, but for a first date, this is a casual way to have fun and get to know your date. We respect members of the opposite/same sex now don’t we.

Bowling

Take a break from Wii Sports and try the real thing. Maybe you’re game’s improved.

Yes, Prodigeek is turning into the geek’s Dr. Ruth.  This may be a little more risque than my readers are use to (sorry Mom), but this is just a natural progression of the Geek Chic column.  Sexual fantasies are a fun and healthy way to "spend time" with your partner and us geeks have some creative ideas of our own (not me, I’m all about missionary style with a member of the same sex).  So for the more adventurous of you, it might be worth adding some of these ideas to your love play.  Remember costumes and props only add to the realism.  And plan your safe words ahead of time. 

Spider-Man upside-down kiss

While harnesses might be above your price range, you can re-enact this classic comic book movie scene by simply leaning over a couch or chair.  The key is begin kissing with your heads facing opposite directions and see where they end up…

Batman and Robin

Just read any Batman comic pre-1954 and you’ve got a picture book with more creativity than the Kama Sutra.  From bondage to black leather to spandex, Batman and Robin offer a large assortment of variation in just one fantasy.  And while this is great for gay couples, don’t forget there have been girl Robins…

Superman and Lois Lane

It’s the classic love story of comic books.  And while the really kinky fetishy stuff might be sadly ignored (Superman, the Blue Boy Scout did grow up in small-town Kansas with old people), you can still replicate the romance.  A nice spandex suit, a dainty reporter’s outfit, and who knows, maybe another harness.  How else are you going to go flying…

Slave Leia

A fantasy with the princess once involved flowing cloaks and hair in buns transforms into a skimpy bikini and chains.  George Lucas, you dirty, dirty man.  The big question for geeks is will you be Jabba the Hut controlling your slave, or Han Solo freeing her, cause I can see it swinging either way…

Angel and Spike

For the Buffy fans, Angel and Spike are two sides of the cliched coin.  You’ve got the soul-bearing and brooding hero and then the rocker, bad ass with a British accent.  So sure the accent might challenge some people, but who cares about talking, right?  Sadly, the two never hooked up (that we know of), so it’s up to our imaginations and fan fiction to make this happen (or you can always check out Spike’s appearance on Torchwood for some ideas).  Spoiler warning, but that might be a good thing here.

The traditional dinner and movie date is a safe if not boring attempt at romance.  I suggest an alternative, the Video Game Date.  Gamers love discovering games their girlfriends are willing to play with them (enter the Wii), but why wait until you’re in committed relationship.  Here you have a unique trait you can share and, let’s be honest, even the biggest Luddites end up enjoying most video games even if they suck at them.  And the biggest benefit is you easily get your date into your apartment (and maybe even the bedroom).  So here are the ways to make the Video Game Date the most enjoyable (I can only get you so far).

Make it a safe place

This is not for a first date.  For your third or fourth date, invite your girl and guy to your place for pizza and video games.  Make sure your place is clean, your controllers are charged, and you have an assortment of munchies.  Keep things casual especially if your special friend has never played games before.

Offer a wide selection

Having the cliched Wii games is a plus, but provide real choice will be the key to success.  Try to gauge your dates interests - do they like cartoons, movies, sports?  Don’t be afraid of competitive games, only don’t get excited when you win (you have more experience) but feel free to joke about your anger that you were beaten (it’s beginner’s luck).  Have some cooperatives games around as well like some simple beat ‘em ups.  Super Smash Brothers games are great especially when you play on the same team.  Hack ‘n slash games like Marvel: Ultimate Alliance or Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance can work for edgier dates.  The key is to be open to your dates interest and offer the least stressful experience.

Have a back-up plan

It’s possible none of your video games will engage your date, so you’d better have a back up plan - and making out isn’t going to happen if the first half of your date was a bust.  Have a selection of movies prepared - have some already downloaded on your 360 or PS3 to really impress.  Cooking dinner also works, but if you already ordered pizza, that won’t work.

With the coffee-sipping, café-hanging out culture of today, sitting around is the new cool. Now, as fun as people watching can be, sometimes you just need something to do. Whether at Starbucks, a job interview, the subway or the park, reading a book provides entertainment and reveals an inner layer about you to complete strangers.

Think about how you’d view the guy reading Ann Coulter’s new trash piece (also, it’s a guy reading Ann Coulter). Different books send different messages about you and the right message can affect how you’re viewed by an employer or a potential mate.

Mainstream unknowns

Award-wining, critically acclaimed authors write numerous books of excellent quality but lesser stature. From the classy film noir of Raymond Chandler to the crude sexual humor of Anthony Burgess, these kinds of books present someone intelligent but not a snob. Make sure you buy paperback. This makes your book less conspicuous. You don’t need a thousand page hardback proclaiming your intelligence (or lack thereof) right on your lap. Now your book has a well-know author but unknown title. This gives you wiggle room in perception. Someone who wants to find someone of intelligence would see an independently-minded individual who they would assume has read the better known books by the same author (whether or not you have).

Conversely, if someone is looking for someone less academic, they would look past “Farewell, My Lovely” when “One Hundred Years of Solitude” might scare them away.

Airplane paperback

Mostly the Fabio romance novels, these are the trash they’re made to be (but a boon for starving writers). You can finish them in a plane ride and they will never start a conversation. The higher-end toss-aways like Patterson and Grisham at least
show you follow pop culture, though you are no connoisseur. If you care what people think about you, don’t read these where those people can see you.

Critical acclaim

The key to remember here is that smart people don’t just read the classics – they’ve already read them. Now no one has read all the classics, but if you’ve read one some arrogant know-it all has, you will not hear the end of it. Alternatively, classics tread the fine line of being a smarty-pants or a knowledge seeker. If you’re reading this for school, then bring a highlighter and notebook. If you want to be seen as that smart, then go all-out.

As for the more current award winners, these work similar to Mainstream Unknowns as those interest in smart books will know smart books. These books are less original, though books don’t succumb to being trendy like other aspects of pop culture.

Non-fiction

From biographies to political editorials to self-help books, non-fiction instantly reveals the readers interest and certain aspects of their intelligence. The meanings can be quite obvious. Diet books to biographies of Benjamin Franklin can be
surprisingly fun, certainly educational and always provide party fodder conversation. Though more academic books present the same images of arrogance, non-fiction at least reflects your preference instead of the I-desperately-want-to-be-viewed-assmart-so-I’m-reading-William-Faulkner-on-my-three-day-weekend. Just make sure you 1) like the topic you’re reading about and 2) be careful with political books. You don’t want to be stopping in Lynchburg, Virginia reading about how vital Stonewall was in the gay rights movement.

Graphic novels

Being a huge comic book fan (surprise), I have my biases, though even I rarely read comics in these public settings (opting for non-fiction). Nevertheless, even I give in on my subway ride home from the comic book store with the new shipment. So back to the article. The fastest growing section at your bookstore is the graphic novels. While you may shrug at the thought of reading Spider-Man in your Gucci suit
en route to your six-figure salary job. While as a young college student, conversations of super-heroes have more prevalence, someone wishing to be less nerdy may prefer something without spandex.

Graphic novels cover every genre from Blankets by Craig Thompson, a memoir of Thompson’s rigid Catholic upbringing and meeting his first love, to 300 by Frank Miller (the author of Sin City), the retelling of the 300 Spartans who prepared a suicide mission against the Peloponnesian army. Another downside, though – graphic novels are big and heavy and not often made for traveling. Still, try reading some. I’m not biased.

(Originally published on EDGEBoston.com)

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of about ten months.  In that time, we shared some great memories.  And like all memories, they have to immortalized on my Facebook and Myspace pages.  I list myself as in a relationship; we share photos of us together; we give Facebook gifts; and we post on each other’s Facebook walls.  So now we break up.  What do we do with all this baggage?

Dealing with physical gifts is easy - you just throw it out a window and tell them your ex-significant other to come pick it up.  But the digital world has change this.  Suddenly, my break-up is very public.  When I change my relationship status, all my Facebook friends are notified on the News Feed.  Friends I didn’t speak to for months suddenly want to talk.

But first I have to ask, when do I change my relationship status?  Right away or is that rude?  Should I delete our photos?  Should I delete the gifts and posts?  These aren’t simply love letters hidden in a shoe box.  Any changes I make are open for the public to see.  My ex can see any changes I make to my profile and vice versa.  Now it’s like we have to break up all over again online and this time all our friends are watching.

My advice is treat this part of the break-up like a band-aid and just finish the job quickly.  The break-up itself, obviously, can be a mature discussion, but come on, nothing about Facebook and Myspace is meant to be mature. Break-ups are hard enough, but to have constant reminders every time to go online would be masochistic (unless you’re into that sort of thing).  Even if you think you might get back together, most of this stuff can be recreated so it’s not a huge loss - that’s usually the reason you’d want to keep stuff around, for the just in case.

Even though I’m a little bitter I’m not nominated (anyone want to nominate me?), I felt it worth sharing this fun, Wired feature.  Visit Wired’s site here to vote for their selection of sexy geeks.  Why Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart aren’t on the top of the list, I’ll never know.

The picture me dressed as Stephen Colbert for Halloween

Here’s a quandary. You are falling head over heels for this rare person who hasn’t been scared away after three-five dates and you’ve managed to reign in the Star Trek analogies (of which there are many). But now your hopeful significant other wants to come over to your place…your Fortress of Solitude, filled with all your action figures, video games, comic books and/or Vampirella posters. Will s/he be scared away? It’s a scary thought. But here are some ways to lessen the blow.

• Prep the object of your affection from the first date
  You risk scarying them away earlier, but better to find out someone’s a geekaphobe earlier than later. Just express your geekiness in cute ways. I like working in an aforementioned Star Trek reference into the conversation, and then tilting my head saying “Yeah, I’m a huge geek.” Basically, play up the boyish charm. Girls, you’ll have it easier of course. Guys will just be happy to have someone willing to watch Star Trek with them.
• Show the breadth of your knowledge
  You might know every different kind of Stormtrooper, but you also know the current real estate market. You love debating the ethics of super hero registration in Marvel Comics, but you also enjoy a hearty debate about stem cells or about Britney losing her kids. It doesn’t matter what your extra curricular interests are, just as long as you have some outside of geekdom that you feel passionate about. Being a geek is something to be proud of. Not having a life is not.
• Show a lot of interest in your significant’s other’s interests
  Even if all your girlfriend cares about are Coach bags, express an interest in learning and understanding. We are all geeky about something, whether it’s comics, Star Wars, or fashion or sports. So be understanding and understanding will find you.

Every Thursday, I put my geeky gayness to the task of bring geek culture to the fashionable mainstream. This is your geek life guide.