Following up my Fashion Every Geek Should Have post, I decided to take the opposite route and help rid geeks of some fashion faux pas you might realize you’re committing.  Here are the biggest violations of true Geek Chic.

Cell phone on the belt

Popular among BlackBerry enthusiasts and other techies who are trying too hard to pretend their phone is a tricorder.  Even the most fabulous phones, even your darling iPhone, should be heard but not seen.  And frankly, I don’t even want to hear it.  Keep your phone in your pocket or bag when it’s not in use.

Clothing that doesn’t fit

I worked for a week at Express (oh college) and had to convince many skinny guys under 6′ that they weren’t largest.  To get them to wear a medium was a challenge even though it looked much better.  Even if you don’t have a great body, clothing should fit you.  For skinny geeks, wear smalls or, occasionally mediums.  The slimmer fits make the clothing look more stylish even if you aren’t at the forefront of fashion.  And if you are large, find clothes that help your body image like vertical stripes and darker colors which have slimming effects.

Inappropriately worn geek fashion

I’m a big advocate for wearing comic book and video game shirts when appropriate.  Clothing professing your love for Spider-Man and Batman are fun and personable, but can also be off putting in the wrong setting.  Make sure you wear these shirts to fun, casual events paired with something more serious like a sport jacket or sweater to show you’re styling, not just slumming.  And make sure the shirt fits!

Avoid shorts

Unless you have calves to make David Beckham jealous, don’t wear shorts.  Your legs will look almost as stupid as mine.  If you can’t take the heat, try khakis shorts over jeans.  They legitimize the silliness a little.

This does not apply to girls, I will note.

Glasses too big for your face

Sleek and slender doesn’t just apply to polos and mini-skirts - it even applies to glasses. Check out Prodigeek’s look at Geek Chic Glasses and you get the idea that the glasses your grandparents and parent wore at out and cool, clean frames are in.  Even those like me with window pane sized lens can find smaller frames to compliment the shape of our faces.  And if you’re really struggling, spring for contact lens.

Yes, Prodigeek is turning into the geek’s Dr. Ruth.  This may be a little more risque than my readers are use to (sorry Mom), but this is just a natural progression of the Geek Chic column.  Sexual fantasies are a fun and healthy way to "spend time" with your partner and us geeks have some creative ideas of our own (not me, I’m all about missionary style with a member of the same sex).  So for the more adventurous of you, it might be worth adding some of these ideas to your love play.  Remember costumes and props only add to the realism.  And plan your safe words ahead of time. 

Spider-Man upside-down kiss

While harnesses might be above your price range, you can re-enact this classic comic book movie scene by simply leaning over a couch or chair.  The key is begin kissing with your heads facing opposite directions and see where they end up…

Batman and Robin

Just read any Batman comic pre-1954 and you’ve got a picture book with more creativity than the Kama Sutra.  From bondage to black leather to spandex, Batman and Robin offer a large assortment of variation in just one fantasy.  And while this is great for gay couples, don’t forget there have been girl Robins…

Superman and Lois Lane

It’s the classic love story of comic books.  And while the really kinky fetishy stuff might be sadly ignored (Superman, the Blue Boy Scout did grow up in small-town Kansas with old people), you can still replicate the romance.  A nice spandex suit, a dainty reporter’s outfit, and who knows, maybe another harness.  How else are you going to go flying…

Slave Leia

A fantasy with the princess once involved flowing cloaks and hair in buns transforms into a skimpy bikini and chains.  George Lucas, you dirty, dirty man.  The big question for geeks is will you be Jabba the Hut controlling your slave, or Han Solo freeing her, cause I can see it swinging either way…

Angel and Spike

For the Buffy fans, Angel and Spike are two sides of the cliched coin.  You’ve got the soul-bearing and brooding hero and then the rocker, bad ass with a British accent.  So sure the accent might challenge some people, but who cares about talking, right?  Sadly, the two never hooked up (that we know of), so it’s up to our imaginations and fan fiction to make this happen (or you can always check out Spike’s appearance on Torchwood for some ideas).  Spoiler warning, but that might be a good thing here.

The traditional dinner and movie date is a safe if not boring attempt at romance.  I suggest an alternative, the Video Game Date.  Gamers love discovering games their girlfriends are willing to play with them (enter the Wii), but why wait until you’re in committed relationship.  Here you have a unique trait you can share and, let’s be honest, even the biggest Luddites end up enjoying most video games even if they suck at them.  And the biggest benefit is you easily get your date into your apartment (and maybe even the bedroom).  So here are the ways to make the Video Game Date the most enjoyable (I can only get you so far).

Make it a safe place

This is not for a first date.  For your third or fourth date, invite your girl and guy to your place for pizza and video games.  Make sure your place is clean, your controllers are charged, and you have an assortment of munchies.  Keep things casual especially if your special friend has never played games before.

Offer a wide selection

Having the cliched Wii games is a plus, but provide real choice will be the key to success.  Try to gauge your dates interests - do they like cartoons, movies, sports?  Don’t be afraid of competitive games, only don’t get excited when you win (you have more experience) but feel free to joke about your anger that you were beaten (it’s beginner’s luck).  Have some cooperatives games around as well like some simple beat ‘em ups.  Super Smash Brothers games are great especially when you play on the same team.  Hack ‘n slash games like Marvel: Ultimate Alliance or Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance can work for edgier dates.  The key is to be open to your dates interest and offer the least stressful experience.

Have a back-up plan

It’s possible none of your video games will engage your date, so you’d better have a back up plan - and making out isn’t going to happen if the first half of your date was a bust.  Have a selection of movies prepared - have some already downloaded on your 360 or PS3 to really impress.  Cooking dinner also works, but if you already ordered pizza, that won’t work.

Running for president in the 21st century calls for a different kind of politician and especially, new forms of political geeks.  From all the blogs, commentary, stats, videos, websites, and news shows, a political junkie can get quickly overwhelmed.  With the election still churning along, here are some ways geeks can best support and learn about the candidates.

Social networking

Facebook and MySpace haves several groups, some official, some not, dedicated to the candidates.  You can be friends with all the candidates, receive updates about events, and meet other people who share your views.  Most impressive has been Barack Obama’s creation of his own social networking site, My Barack Obama, where you can create your own profile, blog, groups, etc. all dedicated to the one candidate, allowing the common voter to help organize other voters in their neighborhood as well as provide the campaign.

You Digg them

Ron Paul would be president right now if it was up to voters on Digg and Reddit.  The internet sensation had an army of loyal social bookmarking power users who propelled any news story about him to the top of popularity.  Didn’t do much to help his campaign (he did raise lots of money), but having fans who care that much has got to matter for something.  They even…

…Hold virtual world parties

Yes, Ron Paul would also be voted president of Azeroth.  On New Year’s, World of Warcraft fans held a rally for Ron Paul, the only candidate on the Azeroth ballot, I believe.  Several candidates like Obama and John Edwards created spaces on Second Life, but since there was no porn or gambling there, popularity didn’t ignite.  Nevertheless, dedicating the next raiding party of a candidate has got to be the best show of support.

User generated content

Blog from events, show off pictures, post videos on YouTube.  Instead of doing their own research, mainstream news networks love using user-generated videos and research (or lack there of) to mull over for hours on air.  This means you could get your 15 minutes of fame while supporting John McCain.  That’s my rap.

Sure the iPod is great for listening to music and watching movies on a really tiny screen, but why limit yourself.  The iPod is a powerful tiny computer and you might try using it as such.  Most of these tricks take some advanced computer skills, so if your iPod explodes, blame Microsoft like everybody else.

Install Linux

What free games and programs for your iPod?  The open-source miracle worker Linux has been developed specifically for the iPod and its handy click-wheel.  iPodLinux allows you to play more media files and you can still load the regular Apple firmware.  Unfortunately the newest iPods and some older ones are not supported.

Wikipedia on your iPod

If you get into a lot of discussions about the House of Burgundy but can’t remember the order of the monarchs, try carrying Wikipedia with you.  With no need for the internet, you can install almost 2 gigs of Wikipedia goodness onto your iPod for anytime viewing.  Now you always have something interesting to read on the train.

Change the iPod theme

For very advanced users (Windows only), use the iPodWizard to change the visuals of your iPod OS.  Tweak the colors, fonts, and maybe make your music sound better as a result.

Read a book

With a slight of hand, you can upload ebooks to your iPod.  Simply paste any text into a simple text file (.txt) and load it into Notes or Contacts on your iPod.  Files must be less than 4kb so novels need to be broken up between several files  Programs Text2iPod X and iPoDoc can help simplify the process.

You can even buy software

I know, who buys software these days.  Depending on if you want to learn a language, create flash cards, or listen to some female robot read your notes, you can find software for your iPod.  We are not here to judge.

Geeks can spend the majority of their salaries/allowances on collectibles often associated with kids toys. Comic books, action figures, and even video games do not scream mature adult the way we want them to. This does not mean you have to get rid of your geeky treasures. Instead, use them to your advantage and create some impressive displays.

Wall decorations

Instead of hanging paintings of scenery and fruit, hang some original comic art or even the comics themselves. Keep your best comics bagged and boarded and put them in some flattering frames (simple black from the art store work perfectly). Sparsely layout the comics in your living room and brag about their value, both financially and spiritually. This validates the thousands of comics neatly organized in your bedroom.

Shelving

The simplest of displays, shelves obviously hold things. For our geeky needs, the more shelves the better and the more stuff to put on them the better. I keep my almost 300 action figures on a large bookshelf. Even my mother (who threw out my first action figure collection) was impressed. Video games work just as well: replace those bookshelves of books you never read with all those video games you never beat.

People at first scoff at the childish display, but at quickly impressed by the size of the collection. Lesson learned: size does matter.

Things to avoid

Remember that some close-minded people might not be able to look past stereotyping our love of geek culture.  If you entertain lots of business folk in your apartment or house, keep your geekier paraphernalia away from more common areas.  Keep your living room clean, but your office is your domain.  Also, if you plan on entertaining a great deal in members of the opposite, or same, sex, limited the shocking geek gadgets from your bedroom.  You don’t want a giant Balrog action figure breaking the moment.

Extensive computer use or gaming can cause severe pain in the wrist and thumb area, now known as computer tunnel syndrome (trademarked!).  Many gadget users like myself joke that our wrist pain is carpal tunnel syndrome, but that is not technically true.  Long periods of repetitive motions like typing or gaming can lead to pain, such as bursitis and tendonitis, but are often more like cramps or stress.  The Mayo Clinic found that heavy computer use did not increase a person’s risk to developing carpal tunnel syndrome, but constant computer use can lead to physical pain.  Here are a few suggestions to keep your hands healthy so you can continue typing until everything is done telepathically.

Wrist guards

Pick up one or two wrist guards from your local drug store.  While typing or gaming, wear the guard to limit movement in your wrists and help limit any pain you might feel.  Can work preventively or help alleviate a current problem if you cannot take long breaks.

Take breaks

Take a good 10-20 minute break every hour if you can.  Stretch your wrists out (see below) to avoid cramping up in your locked typing positions

Stretch

Stretch before, during and after you type or game, just like a real sporting event.  Here are some good stretches to try.

Stop when it hurts

This sounds obvious, but is hard to do.  You have deadlines or just one more level to beat.  It’s hard to stop.  But if you’re body is telling you it hurts, listen and take a break.

Ergonomic keyboards, mic, pads, etc.

When you can’t avoid it, find the most comfortable keyboard and mouse.  I find the more ergonomic ones less comfortable, but it’s worth going to your local electronics store and testing them out.  Mice where your pointer finger is raised lessen stress and curved keyboards provide more natural hand placement.  Also make sure you have a comfortable workspace.  Proper keyboard posture expects you to keep your wrists about perpendicular to your hand.  Gel pads to keep in front of your keyboard help with this.

Most of friends try to play it cool and claim they prefer sports to video games, but once I have them over and they’ve had a few drinks, well, I don’t have to tell you what happens next.  The Nintendo Wii, Guitar Hero, and the casual gaming fad have made it so I don’t have to get my cool friends drunk just to play video games.  So here are things to make sure you have when throwing a video game party.

Maximize the number of players

Few of us can afford multiple HDTVs, but if you have a quality computer monitor, you can quality double your pleasure.  I keep the Wii hooked up to the HDTV in my living room and move the 360 to my computer monitor and speakers.  With the Wii on mute, four people could play Super Monkey Ball to the background music of Guitar Hero.

Batteries

Make sure you have tons of batteries for controllers.  Do I need to explain this further?

Know how to work everything

It sucks to waste time trying to figure out how to set-up multiplayer or not knowing how to play a mini-game or simply not knowing how many people can play something.  Be the expert so everyone else can just relax and make fools of themselves.  It’s less fun when you’re fool because nothing works.

Finger food

Just because you’re playing video games doesn’t mean you have to eat like a six year old.  Put together a cheese platter, cold cuts, and of course, junk food.  Just make sure to provide a balance.  Being a geek can still be classy.

Have a non-video game space

Even with two rooms of games, it’ll be hard to get more than 4-8 people playing at one time.  Assuming you have more friends than that, you will want to have space for socializing so people can just watch the gaming but still talk about non-geeky things.  Normal people aren’t used to 12 hour gaming marathons so be sympathetic.

With the coffee-sipping, café-hanging out culture of today, sitting around is the new cool. Now, as fun as people watching can be, sometimes you just need something to do. Whether at Starbucks, a job interview, the subway or the park, reading a book provides entertainment and reveals an inner layer about you to complete strangers.

Think about how you’d view the guy reading Ann Coulter’s new trash piece (also, it’s a guy reading Ann Coulter). Different books send different messages about you and the right message can affect how you’re viewed by an employer or a potential mate.

Mainstream unknowns

Award-wining, critically acclaimed authors write numerous books of excellent quality but lesser stature. From the classy film noir of Raymond Chandler to the crude sexual humor of Anthony Burgess, these kinds of books present someone intelligent but not a snob. Make sure you buy paperback. This makes your book less conspicuous. You don’t need a thousand page hardback proclaiming your intelligence (or lack thereof) right on your lap. Now your book has a well-know author but unknown title. This gives you wiggle room in perception. Someone who wants to find someone of intelligence would see an independently-minded individual who they would assume has read the better known books by the same author (whether or not you have).

Conversely, if someone is looking for someone less academic, they would look past “Farewell, My Lovely” when “One Hundred Years of Solitude” might scare them away.

Airplane paperback

Mostly the Fabio romance novels, these are the trash they’re made to be (but a boon for starving writers). You can finish them in a plane ride and they will never start a conversation. The higher-end toss-aways like Patterson and Grisham at least
show you follow pop culture, though you are no connoisseur. If you care what people think about you, don’t read these where those people can see you.

Critical acclaim

The key to remember here is that smart people don’t just read the classics – they’ve already read them. Now no one has read all the classics, but if you’ve read one some arrogant know-it all has, you will not hear the end of it. Alternatively, classics tread the fine line of being a smarty-pants or a knowledge seeker. If you’re reading this for school, then bring a highlighter and notebook. If you want to be seen as that smart, then go all-out.

As for the more current award winners, these work similar to Mainstream Unknowns as those interest in smart books will know smart books. These books are less original, though books don’t succumb to being trendy like other aspects of pop culture.

Non-fiction

From biographies to political editorials to self-help books, non-fiction instantly reveals the readers interest and certain aspects of their intelligence. The meanings can be quite obvious. Diet books to biographies of Benjamin Franklin can be
surprisingly fun, certainly educational and always provide party fodder conversation. Though more academic books present the same images of arrogance, non-fiction at least reflects your preference instead of the I-desperately-want-to-be-viewed-assmart-so-I’m-reading-William-Faulkner-on-my-three-day-weekend. Just make sure you 1) like the topic you’re reading about and 2) be careful with political books. You don’t want to be stopping in Lynchburg, Virginia reading about how vital Stonewall was in the gay rights movement.

Graphic novels

Being a huge comic book fan (surprise), I have my biases, though even I rarely read comics in these public settings (opting for non-fiction). Nevertheless, even I give in on my subway ride home from the comic book store with the new shipment. So back to the article. The fastest growing section at your bookstore is the graphic novels. While you may shrug at the thought of reading Spider-Man in your Gucci suit
en route to your six-figure salary job. While as a young college student, conversations of super-heroes have more prevalence, someone wishing to be less nerdy may prefer something without spandex.

Graphic novels cover every genre from Blankets by Craig Thompson, a memoir of Thompson’s rigid Catholic upbringing and meeting his first love, to 300 by Frank Miller (the author of Sin City), the retelling of the 300 Spartans who prepared a suicide mission against the Peloponnesian army. Another downside, though – graphic novels are big and heavy and not often made for traveling. Still, try reading some. I’m not biased.

(Originally published on EDGEBoston.com)

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of about ten months.  In that time, we shared some great memories.  And like all memories, they have to immortalized on my Facebook and Myspace pages.  I list myself as in a relationship; we share photos of us together; we give Facebook gifts; and we post on each other’s Facebook walls.  So now we break up.  What do we do with all this baggage?

Dealing with physical gifts is easy - you just throw it out a window and tell them your ex-significant other to come pick it up.  But the digital world has change this.  Suddenly, my break-up is very public.  When I change my relationship status, all my Facebook friends are notified on the News Feed.  Friends I didn’t speak to for months suddenly want to talk.

But first I have to ask, when do I change my relationship status?  Right away or is that rude?  Should I delete our photos?  Should I delete the gifts and posts?  These aren’t simply love letters hidden in a shoe box.  Any changes I make are open for the public to see.  My ex can see any changes I make to my profile and vice versa.  Now it’s like we have to break up all over again online and this time all our friends are watching.

My advice is treat this part of the break-up like a band-aid and just finish the job quickly.  The break-up itself, obviously, can be a mature discussion, but come on, nothing about Facebook and Myspace is meant to be mature. Break-ups are hard enough, but to have constant reminders every time to go online would be masochistic (unless you’re into that sort of thing).  Even if you think you might get back together, most of this stuff can be recreated so it’s not a huge loss - that’s usually the reason you’d want to keep stuff around, for the just in case.