I’m a big fan of instant messaging - I find it the most efficient communication tool. It’s instant (obviously), share files and links, and I can do other things at the same time (which is harder on the phone). I’ve always over analyzed proper manners when IMing someone, and just when I’m getting the hang of it, Facebook comes along and messes up the whole rules system.
Facebook released their own instant messaging service two months ago, built into its social network, meaning if you have a Facebook account, you have Facebook IM. Unlike AIM or Google Talk, you just have to sign into Facebook and all your also signed in friends are shown as available in a taskbar. There’s no need to trade addresses, it’s all simple and automatic.
As a result, I don’t know who wants to use it and who doesn’t, making it hard to know who to IM and when.
Facebook Chat comes readily available on Digsby, my favorite IM client, so I can use the service just like any other instant messenger. Most of my friends use the taskbar on Facebook pages, requiring they keep the page open so as not to sign off. It also makes it hard to see when you get a new IM since your browser doesn’t flash announcing the new message. I’ve often tried sending messages to people who never saw them - they just closed their browser.
Thus even friends I ask about IMing miss IMs. And people I didn’t check with in advance is such a crap shoot - I never know if they saw my IMs and were so offended they ignored me, or if they just never saw them. That’s very stressful on my fragile social psyche.
The other challenge with Facebook Chat is simply knowing who you want to talk to. I have so many friends from high school, camp, and college that I lost touch with on purpose, not to mention the people I’m friends with just because. All these people show up on my friends list. I don’t necessarily want to de-friend them, but I certainly don’t want to talk to them. At least on Facebook they were buried with the other faceless faced masses. On Facebook Chat, I have a constant list (Facebook says they are working on this feature). Unfortunately, not being able to block specific people leads to people IMing me I don’t want to talk to. And since I use an IM client, I always see the IM.
Facebook Chat is still young. Hopefully as more people discover its features and value, it will become a great way of connecting with people, above poking them (which is still fun). But until Facebook Chat becomes valuable, we all need to learn how to use it. Starting with answering your IMs.
