Catcher in the Rye spoke to a generation of geeks and malcontents, and earned the ire of adults who didn’t like anything that had such dirty words in it. Main character Holden Caulfield quickly evolved into a cultural icon with his wry arrogance and distinct physical features that kept him just as unpopular as the rest of us. Even reading the book became an act of defiance as schools banned the vile book for promoting things sex and independent thought. Gotta keep those teenagers from rising up.

Who knew loosing your towel on the beach could become an international sensation.  Douglas Adams premiered the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy on BBC Radio 4 in 1978 to huge audiences, spawning a series of books, TV shows, movies, video games, and all the merchandise a franchise can produce.  Adams originally planned the radio show to be called "The Ends of the Earth" where the Earth was destroyed a different way each episode, but choose to create a more linear story with the end of Earth coming at the very beginning.

Earth, basically, is like a highway diner.  That highway needs to expand.  So the builders (aliens called Vogons) have to tear down Earth to make room for the highway.  Oh well.  Thankfully, all the dolphins survive (they thank us for the fish, how nice).

Hitchhiker’s Guide’s unique and absurd humor has amassed a massive following around the world and even more inside jokes from towels to 42.  Yes, geeks like their obscure references.  It makes us feel smart.

Isaac Asimov’s classic sci-fi series tells of the predicted downfall of the Galactic Empire.  Hari Seldon devised a system of mathematics to predict the future.  Called psychohistory, Seldon found you could predict history over huge timespans.  Individuals are unpredictable but the masses can be predicted.  Seldon formed the Foundation to lessen the dark ages after the fall of the Galactic Empire, but Seldon’s millennia worth of predictions could be destroyed by one unpredictable individual.  The powerful psionic the Mule was that individual.  Able to control the emotions of others, the Mule formed a massive empire to defeat the Foundation.  The Mule can be remembered as one of the scariest and most twisted villains in science fiction, from his freakish look to some of his bizarre traits (like infertility).  It easy to say the Mule is the greatest infertile super-villain in geek history.  And that’s something to be proud of.

For almost four years, Harry Potter roamed the halls of Hogwarts fighting off giant spiders, evil books, and aunts and uncles.  At the end of his fourth year, his great fear came to life when Voldemort returned to his former power and greatest.  The Dark Lord spent more than a decade clasping to a single thread of life living until his henchmen brought him back.  Voldemort had Harry kidnapped and teleported to the place where Voldemort murdered Harry’s parents.  Voldemort rose from near death, ready to unleash his vengeance on the wizarding world.  Harry escaped, of course, fighting Voldemort for three more blockbuster books.  But it was at this moment the Harry Potter series matured.  No longer was Harry just facing henchmen and intelligent rats.  He had the Dark Lord to face.  And mid-terms.  Sucks.

People may be reading less books, but don’t judge that by its cover. A new study from the National Endowment for the Arts finds Americans are reading less books. Spending on books dropped 14 perfect between 1985 and 2005. But more telling was Americans between 18 and 24, college years, read less voluntarily - only 52 percent in 2002 versus 59 in 1992. And all this lack of reading is causing test scores to drop.

The study attributes many “social benefits” to reading including readers getting more exercise, visiting museums, keeping up with news and current events, volunteering, and voting.

Sadly, the 100 page study appears to link declining readership in books and newspapers as a sign of American’s decreasing reading habits. What the study fails to establish is what people are doing instead. Has everyone become a video game addict or, as the statistics in this very study show, are people navigating online for their information. The study cites a 53 percent increase in home Internet use from 1997 to 2003 but fails to ask what people are doing online.

This study also contradicts the increase in book sales targeted at teens.

Further, there’s more to read than ever before. Email, instant messaging, blogs, and websites all require extensive amounts of readings and writing. I rarely pick up a newspaper, but instead read news stories from papers around the world through RSS feeds.

The study cites David T.Z. Mindich’s article “Tuned Out: Why Americans Under 40 Don’t Follow the News” which claims only 11 percent of 18-24 year-olds list news a major reason for going online, thus not making up for the more than 20 percent drop in college -aged newspaper readers.

I question the definition of “major reason” since so much online overlaps. I want to check my email on Yahoo! and right there on my mail page are the most emailed news articles. If I’m waiting for my friend to IM me, I might check out the New York Times while waiting. Further, the NEA’s own study provides statistics showing “32 percent of teens and 46 percent of young adults actively ’seek’ news on the Internet, while 65 percent and 48 percent ‘just happen to come across it.” When compared to the 46 percent of college-aged Americans who read newspapers in 1972, interest in news seems somewhat steady.

The NEA wants to attribute less reading of books to dropping test scores and writing proficiency in students but again I worry the correlation does not translate to cause and effect. The New York Times today, in reporting on this NEA study, links dropping test scores with the decline in time spent reading but also finds these drops in test scores are across all academic subjects, including math and science. Could there be other causes affecting test scores (and do we really know what these tests are testing for)?

People, young and old, have untold amounts of knowledge on their little laptops, cellphones, and even gaming consoles (the Wii and PS3 have web browsers). This requires more reading, writing, and understanding than ever before (like how do you get that web browser to work right).

People aren’t necessarily getting stupider by not reading print novels and newspapers. They just might be getting information in new sources and new ways, especially those tech savvy kids. Maybe with all the new technology and resources, it’s our tests and studies that need changing, not the number of pages we read before sixth period.

So I’m all for promoting tolerance and inclusive characters, but I don’t think it has the same effect if no one knew…or cared. Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling announced last week (while I was away in London, an ocean away from my computer) that Potter’s mentor Albus Dumbledore is a homosexual. Ian McKellen must be pissed for missing out on this role.

I want to know what’s Rowling’s point for announcing this now. Yes there’s fan fiction that questions Dumbledore and about every other Harry Potter character’s sexuality, so I don’t really count that. As a lover of Harry Potter and someone who reads homosexuality in everything (like Batman, Frodo and Sam, and Magneto in the X-Men movies) I never even cared about Dumbledore’s sexuality. He’s a really old dude and that’s ewwwy.

But if Rowling is trying to show her stories to be filled with diverse characters, maybe she should have put this detail in the books. It doesn’t have to be overpowering. Just characterization. This way us readers could have debated and argued and watched the Religious Right fume. Now, it’s just like…uh…yeah…cool. Way to get back into the headlines. You go Rowling.

I wonder if this will be written out of movie Harry Potter continuity. Don’t be surprised if Dumbledore starts making eyes at Professor McGonagall.

Aliens are awesome. Millions of aliens invading are awesomer. This week, I run down the greatest alien invasions across media. These are the biggest alien invasions. None of those one alien to conquer Earth. This is world versus world - where the fate of Earth hangs in the balance. So let’s see the different species desperate for a date with mankind.

7. Independence Day (1996)

You’ve got everything you could - huge alien ships destroying major world landmarks and Will Smith. Okay, maybe there’s something things you don’t want, but Independence Day certainly presents on of the best alien invasions summer blockbuster money can buy.

On July 2nd, several alien ships hover over the major cities of the world. The aliens wait until they are all into position before they unleash a massive energy blast, destroying whole cities. The President (played by Bill Pullman, obviously) uses the advice of scientist David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum) and hot-shot pilot Steven Hiller (Will Smith, who’s dating an exotic dancer, you know, for character development) to upload a virus into the alien ships, giving humans an opening to destroy the invasion force. Even though most every major city is wiped off the face of the Earth, everyone is happy about winning and still wondering when the sequel will happen.

6. Mars Attacks (1996)

Corny, creepy, and featuring Tom Jones. How can this at all be good? Well thankfully this is a list of the great alien invasions, not great movies. Tim Burton’s Mars Attacks, based on a series of, yes, trading cards, is spoof on all the classic alien invasions, from cliched flying saucers to toy-looking ray guns.

The skull-headed looking aliens arrive on Earth and are invited to speak at Congress where they kill the entire legislative body in a single blast: and on national television. And Mars Attacks, which was released shortly after Independence Day, spoofs the destruction of landmarks, dropping the Washington Monument on a troop of boy scouts, melted the Eiffel Tower, and used the Easter Island statues as bowling pins.

And for simplicity sake, the Martians were defeated by some truly painful yodeling music, “Indian Love Call” by Slim Whitman, which made the Martian’s heads explode. Yay for happy endings.

5. Ultimates #7-13 “Homeland Security” (2004)

So some shapeshifting aliens are planning to invade Earth? Who ya gonna call? Since the Avengers weren’t answering their interdimentional telephone, the alternate universe version, the Ultimates, came to the rescue. The second story arc for Marvel’s Avengers modern-age revamp sent Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, the Hulk, and an entire brigade of S.H.I.E.L.D. soldiers against a hidden Chitauri base. The shapeshifting Chitauri, it seems, had set a trap for the Ultimates. For all we knew, the Ultimates were killed in a massive explosion.

With no one to be drawn in their way, the Chitauri set a bomb to destroy the entire solar system. Of course, the Ultimates survived the explosion and launched a counter-assault, in the air and on the land in one massive, world-engulfing war. And when things still weren’t going so well, Captain America called in their secret weapon, the Hulk, who no qualms about killing or eating the aliens. After Thor teleports the bomb to another dimension, in ash and rubble of Washington D.C., the Ultimates proudly stand having saved the world from the greatest comic book alien invasion.

4. Halo series (2001)

After spending one whole game trying to lead the evil alien Covenant away from Earth, you gotta feel like a failure. Cause once Halo 2 comes around, well, it’s on. Playing as Xbox mascot Master Chief, you must defend Earth’s interstellar civilization from the religious and technically superior Covenant. The Covenant believe humanity is an affront to their gods, the Forerunners, and so Earth must be destroyed. The invasion goes all-out with next-gen technology in Halo 3 as you finish the fight to save Earth and galaxy (because Earth is very important to the galaxy always). The game takes you all over Earth, with the Chief and his Marines blasting their way through alien scum on every continent.

One of the most successful and addictive video game franchises, Halo not only provides such an over-the-top storyline that only video games can provide, but also lets players imagine the rest of the unseen battles through extensive and unmatched multiplayer matches. Did Independence Day let you do that? No? I didn’t think so.

3. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)

If aliens take over the world, and no one knows, is it still an invasion? Well, I say it not only is, but it’s amazing. The classic film Invasion of the Body Snatchers shows the citizens of a small California town being replaced by Pod People - emotionless alien replacements who help spread more pods around the world. But the warnings are too late. By the time the authorities are warned, the pods have spread and the world is doomed.

This B-grade horror movie evolved into a classic tale of an alternative to the alien invasion, taking over not with weapons but by taking over humans. And nothing’s scarier than humans who don’t respect your boundaries. It’s why I avoid my neighbor at all costs.

2. Cylons invade the Twelve Colonies (2004)

Most of the time, humans lose the battle but win the war. Well, in Battlestar Galactica, there aren’t enough humans left to win. Within minutes of the first episode, the robotic Cylons wipe out the entire human population across twelve planets. Only 40,000 humans are left, nomads in space searching for the lost thirteenth colony, Earth.

And this is the invasion that never ends. The Cylons continue hunting the remaining humans across the galaxy. And in addition to occupying the original colonies, the Cylons followed the humans to their settlement on a new planet, New Caprica. It’s two invasions in one!

1. War of the Worlds (1898)

A classic book, several movies, radio show, video game, musical, and even some comic book adaptations make War of the Worlds the standard all alien invasions are measured against. Written by H.G. Wells in 1898, War of the Worlds told of an army of Martians invading Earth with giant, tripod walking machines with powerful heat-rays. The Martians destroyed all of Earth’s defenses, sending everyone, including Tom Cruise, running for the hills. And in one of the most unique ending of all, the Martians were eventually defeated not by man, but by our viruses - microbes the aliens had no immunity to.

War of the Worlds would have earned a top stop on timelessness and influence alone, but for extra credit, many people believed Martians were actually attacking. In 1938, Orson Welles performed a radio show based on the novel as a news reel causing an approximate one million listens to believe the broadcast to be real.

And if Orson Welles likes it, it must be good.

Every Monday, I force my opinion on you, my fearless readers, ranking the seven of something geeky.