The New York Times claims the new video game Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars is “one of the most important” because of its story telling and maturity.

But really, it’s just because this is a violent video game on a stereotypically kiddie and girlie gaming system, the Nintendo DS. The article praises game developer Rockstar and Nintendo for being “bold” and making a “vital statement to the public” that video games are not just for children.

Didn’t we already know this?

How is it bold of Nintendo for approving one of the best-selling video game series of all time to make a game exclusively for their system, almost certain to sell millions of copies. GTA is a safe-bet, not bold. And as amazing as Chinatown Wars is, it’s not a “crucial moment in the maturation of the gaming industry.” It’s a well-known franchise in an industry more known for violence than child-friendly fare. The New York Times itself has pushed flawed research about how all this violence is harmful.

Video games are still maturing yes, and Chinatown Wars is a helpful step to spreading the rich storytelling potential of the medium. But it’s a miniature version of the also adult GTA IV released only a year ago. Just as adult and arguably more visually spectacular. Adult is not always maturity.  Video games can be mature without violence, but talking animals and magic spells don’t get the same headlines as blood and gore.

I recognize the DS itself has expanded the video game market. Yay. It’s more than four years old. About time the New York Times realized violence can sometimes make good storytelling.

Nintendo rejuvenated and dominated the video game industry for years until upstart Sega joined the fray. A vicious yet entertaining console war emerged, a war of mascots, controller layout, and blood censorship. The result broke friendships and drew lines in the playground as fanboys chose one side or the other. Sega eventually dropped out of the console market (so sad) and has no become buddy buddy with Nintendo, bringing their riveting relationship to a happy place where Mario and Sonic can play together…mostly by beating each other up.

Forbes provided some hyped linkbaiting today with an article on why Apple’s iPhone could kill, not compete with, but kill the Nintendo DS. I’m taking the bait to quash Apple’s gaming might once and for now.

Tech pundits love finding that new “killer” app to quash the incumbent which, in recent memory, always seems to be something Apple related: iPod “killer”, iPhone “killer”, and even Apple TV “killer” (do you need to kill something that isn’t even selling?).

Nintendo’s DS is the powerhouse of handheld gaming, the benefit of almost 20 years and more than half-a-dozen hardware generations. Sony launched its first handheld competitor, the PSP, barely clutching to 30 percent of the market, a credit to the system’s power and Sony’s well-established Playstation brand. Apple comes to the gaming world with no experience (except the tragic Pippin), no game studio, no retail presence or expandable memory, and most importantly, no interest in killing Nintendo.

Forbes writes its article ahead of Apple’s release of 3rd-party software include, presumably, an assortment of games. When Apple announced its developer’s kit for 3rd-parties, major game publishers Sega and EA were there to show off the first games for the platform. These high-profile releases led blogs to speculate on the iPhone’s potential as an actual handheld gaming platform.

This assumes Apple wants to be a handheld platform. The recently announced $25 for games sales Apple has other priorities. Gaming platforms have relied on low priced hardware subsidized by royalties from game sales. Sony’s PSP struggled initially at its $200 price point - how can Apple’s $400 iPhone think to fare better.

The other point against Apple’s gaming interests are its lack of actual gaming. EA’s cute flOw clone, if holding to Apple’s aforementioned price, costs $8 on the PS3. A rare $20 game on the PSP, Patapon, featured dozens of hours of gameplay. The DS offers assorted casual games like those likely to dominate on the iPhone, but also offers a varied library of epic stories and varied genres. Casual gaming is big business, yes, but hard core gaming is still bigger. The Wii sells amazingly, but software beyond Nintendo (first-party) fails to sell like games on the Xbox 360 and PS3.

Games will never sell the iPhone. The iPhone sells itself because of its variety of features and solid casual gaming will appeal to that user base in ways even the Nintendo DS can’t. The result will be different markets, not competitors.

The worst thing about leaving home is leaving all your awesome toys.  But with a Game Boy, long car rides and waiting rooms at doctor’s offices became more enjoyable.  Game Boy provided amazing games in four different shades of green, trumping full color competitors.  From the quintessential puzzle game Tetris to the gotta catch ‘em all of Pokemon, Game Boy provided hours of entertainment away from our darling consoles, and the funny part was we didn’t care.  We just wanted to play more.

Put your pen and paper away.  There’s no passwords to memorize here.  Not only was the first Legend of Zelda a pioneer in the open world adventure genre, but it also provided gamers with a tiny amount of built-in memory to save their hours upon hours of progress.  If the shiny gold NES cartridge wasn’t enough, this game was a feat of Nintendo’s technological superiority to all other mere mortals.  Fear the Nintendo.

According to The People, England’s Prince William has had to share his Christmas present with his grandmother.  The Queen has apparently been taken with Nintendo’s charming doohickey.  The People quoted a palace source saying: "[The Queen] played a simple ten-pin bowling game and by all accounts was a natural…And although she is 81, the Queen’s hand-eye co-ordination was as good as somebody half her age."

Operating against the cliche, the Queen has been known to enjoy the latest technology, owning an iPod, consistently upgrading her mobile phone and BlackBerry, and even setting up her own email account.

Maybe this will convince my father to stop keeping a paper address book.  Seriously, the man practices his penmanship for fun.

Microsoft’s Xbox brand has been facing an up Mount. Fuji battle since its launch. And while the 360 has faired better than the original Xbox, some recent numbers shown by Famitsu (translated by NeoGAF) shows the Xbox might be farther down the mountain than originally thought.

Famitsu tracks the top 50 best selling Xbox 360 games with the top game not even selling a quarter million units. As Destructoid points out, when you add the total sales of all 50 games, only 1.8 million units have sold - as much November sales of Mario Galaxy and Guitar Hero III in the U.S.

The surprise in these numbers is how even games that attracted huge headlines for first week sales dropped of. Ace Combat 6 helped the 360 console outsell the PS3 in Japan for the first time, selling 77,000 units in its first week. A month later, Ace Combat 6 has only sold 6,000 more copies.

Even games that Japan loves are having trouble expanding the 360’s user base. This will make the 360 Devil May Cry 4 sales numbers versus the PS3’s all the more interesting. Check out the full top 50 after the jump.

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Worldwide sellouts and piles of money haven’t stopped Nintendo president Reggie Fils-Aime from finding something to whine about. Fils-Aime told Reuters today he disapproves of retailers bundling the Nintendo Wii with games, removing the price advantage Nintendo has over its competitors.

Fils-Aime has a point. Gamestop sells the Wii with two to five games and a second set of controllers, making the $250 console cost almost $600 before shipping - more expensive than the Xbox 360 and PS3.

“We think it masks some of the price advantage we have versus our competition and, frankly, the consumer should decide what they want,” Fils-Aime said.

Now I agree bundles can be frustrating, but what’s it Nintendo’s business how retailers push the Wii. Nintendo can’t even keep Wiis in the stores. The second the Wiis are sold, they appear on eBay for 50 to 100 percent retail. So is it so wrong for the retailer to include the software in order to maximize its own profitability.

If Gamestop had 500 Wiis in every store, they wouldn’t bundle them because they couldn’t force consumers to stomach the games they don’t want. Those consumers would just go to Best Buy for bundle-less Wiis. But since supply is limited, retailers are finding ways to artificially mark-up the price, but at the same time offering more to the customer. Of course, if you don’t want the games, you can just spend the same $600 on a stand-alone Wii on eBay.

Nintendo just keeps to understand the basics of supply and demand.  Their console may be cheaper, but that doesn’t define it’s value. Capitalism does that.

Forget about Republican versus Democrat, Pepsi versus Coke, and dogs versus cats. Geeks love our rivalries. We are ferociously loyal to one group over another and thing anyone who disagrees must be an idiot (which, in my opinion, they usually are). So here is, in my opinion, the best, geekiest, and most fun rivalries in all of geekdom. These rivalries must be going on currently (no Nintendo vs. Sega) and it must affect a significant group of geek, meaning Ewoks versus Care Bears will have to wait for another list.

7. Cheats vs. no cheats

Passwords. Hacks. Mods. Game genie. All tools of the trade for people who want to beat the game or just skip a really hard level. But is this ethical? Does reading a walkthrough count as cheating? Who are you cheating? Yourself or the game? Message boards across the internet when asked for passwords will sometimes have users who refuse to tell on the grounds that cheating in video games is wrong. It lessens the experience. Why waste your money on a game you aren’t going to play. Well, what should you do is (for the answer, please hold R while pressing UP DOWN RIGHT UP UP A B LEFT LEFT UP).

6. Piracy vs. no piracy

Yes, another ethical debate. For some, piracy is a way to sticking it to the Man, getting lots of stuff free and easy, or maybe just trying something out before spending the money. To others, it’s stealing, wrong, and immoral. If you want to watch a movie, listen to a song, or play a game, spend the money. It’s the only way to keep more of these movies, songs, and games coming. But neither answer is as simple as the downloading on IRC (it’s not simple, if you weren’t sure). And while lawyers try to figure out the legality of piracy and file-sharing, the practice still causes ire among geeks who are easy to ire.

5. Console vs. PC

In the on-going battle for the hearts of video gamers worldwide, the television and personal computer have been fighting the longest battle. Which works better: Controlling your character with a mouse and keyboard or a home console gamepad? Which has better graphics? Which is simply more fun? In truth, the answer to the first two questions is PC. The mouse and keyboard more often than not provide more precise and customizable control (though it’s far more complex to learn) and PC graphics will long out pace video game consoles. But consoles have many advantages from always knowing your game will play on your system (no processing power requirements), simplicity in set-up and often playability, and cost. And thus far, the market is choosing home consoles over PC by billions more dollars. 2006 showed gamers spent $6.5 billion on consoles and handhelds versus $970 million on PC games. But the battle is far from over, especially as more games are released on both consoles and PCs. Then we might see who really wins.

4. Open source vs. commercial

It’s the David and Goliath battle. Should I use Microsoft Word or Open Office…or maybe even Google Docs? What about hacking my iPhone to use user made software or should I wait for the official releases? And then there’s even those piracy questions, like should I use these open source Bittorrent programs or video game emulators or use iTunes and video game consoles. This all comes down to freedom of software choice. But don’t expect others to like it. It all seems innocent until you can’t share your files. That’s when bitterness becomes anger. Yeah, you know.

3. PC vs. Mac

Ah, this one separates the coders from the designers. Macs pride themselves on simplicity and a long understanding of being better with visual and video design software. PCs, while more complex (a lot more), offer more programs and a mountain of exclusive video games. Hardcore PC gamers will tell you there is no option other than a PC and they’re right. But Apple looks prettier. And does more faster. And you can escape from Microsoft’s Window’s loving clutches. Leaving you more time for Photoshopping. Doesn’t that make you feel better?

2. Nintendo vs. Sony vs. Microsoft

You know a geek fight’s big when it gets mainstream media attention. The video game console wars between the Nintendo Wii, Sony Playstation 3, and Microsoft Xbox 360 haven’t been this fierce since a little company called Atari ran the industry. And that might have not been this bad. The video game industry means a lot more to more people these days. The multibillion dollar industry can be quite the cash cow when mixing in game licensing fees, in-game advertising, and online downloads all of which didn’t exist in the 1980s. And that’s just what the companies fight over. The fans often barely have enough to buy one video game console. So when they buy that console, they want to validate that choice and will fight anyone who challenges them. Preferable in a battle of Street Fight II. That ends up on every system ever made, doesn’t it?

1. Marvel vs. DC

Yes, this little rival of comic book universes is one of the most rabid, cruel, and longest running rivalries in geek history. You either love Marvel or DC. You might like characters in each universe. A Marvel fan might even pick up a Superman comic on occasion. But each comic fan has his or her loyalties with only one. DC Comics is original universe…but Marvel perfected the comic universe. DC is too corporate…Marvel’s too corporate. Batman is the best character…Spider-Man is the best character. The back and forth is endless and likely will never end. The debates over the best comic book company and comic book universe only makes reading comics more fun.

Every Monday, I force my opinion on you, my fearless readers, ranking the seven of something geeky.

Instead of showing you one game this week, I feel like showing you almost about 660. vNES is an online emulator that plays excellent versions of most major NES game you can think of from Super Mario Brothers to Mega Man 1-6 to Magic Johnson’s Fast Break. Each includes sound and simple keyboard controls. The site is ad-free, supported by donations and regularly updated (the site’s owner Jamie Sanders added 26 new games on October 25th, 2007. The emulator itself, by Sanders, was created with some very impressive Java skills.

Geek Out Game: vNES

Every Wednesday, I profile a unique web game to distract you from real-life.