Home » Tag: the7

September 29th, 2008

Categories: Movies, Television, The 7

Classes begin this week this at my place of graduate studies, the University of Chicago. To celebrate my upcoming year of paying to work harder than when I was paid to work, I’m praising the many fictional graduates of this fine institution. So if/when I fail out, we’ll know which fake people are smarter than me (let’s remember Cameron Diaz from My Best Friend’s Wedding graduated in a major that doesn’t even exist here).

7. Kitty Pryde

University of Chicago isn’t so bad. Apparently it’s better than a night out with Magneto.  The walking-through-walls mutant member of the X-Men spent some time away from super heroics at the University. Unfortunately her powers were not enough to make X-Men 3 a good movie.

6. Hal

Wunderkind mathematician Hal made quite a name for himself during his days at the University, long before appearing in the play and film Proof.  Of course, like most students here, he ended up suffering mental problems after leaving and struggled to accomplish anything else.  So he turned to theater. That U of C degree really opens doors.

5. Richard Kimble

Renown vascular surgeon Richard Kimble graduated from University of Chicago and made sure to visit like all good alumni. Kimble actually spent some time at the University’s science library, John Crerar, in his big screen Fugitive, as he tried to find the truth behind his wife’s murder. Now that’s a helpful library.

4. Brandon Shaw and Philip Morgan

Two murderers might not be the ideal representatives for a respected research institution, but creative murders have to deserve some credit.  Brandon Shaw and Philip Morgan starred in the Alfred Hitchcock movie The Rope based on University of Chicago students Leopold and Loeb. So technically the characters aren’t even U. of C. students - the real murders are. Best to avoid those classes.

3. Jack McCoy

New York City’s newest District Attorney and long time Executive Assistant District Attorney Jack McCoy brings Law and Order on an hourly basis across almost half a dozen TV stations.  His aggressive, bend the rules for justice gives all ethical standards come finals time.

2. Harry and Sally

The love duo known for late night phone calls and picky eating habits began their life on the steps of the University.  After both completing years of learning, the two drove to New York City and began their hilarious two hour life together.

indiana_jones_academic 1. Indiana Jones

Talk about the perfect graduate. He’s a super smart action hero with a kick-ass whip and a sexy smile.  Not the most common combination on campus in a student, let alone an archaeology professor. It’s good to have something to aspire to.

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September 22nd, 2008

Categories: The 7, Video games

Last year, video game companies gave us plenty to be thankful for in November. To keep gamers on their toes, this year publishers are padding the months of October with the biggest collections of AAA game releases. In fact, I could make a top 7 list for the week of the 20th alone.  So get advances on your paychecks and allowances because you don’t want to wait ’till the holidays for these games.

rise_of_the_argonauts 7. Rise of the Argonauts

This innovative new action RPG professes several impressively immersive features, from a near-HUD-less screen to realistic combat where stabbing once is all your need. Playing as Jason, the player pilots the mythological Argo ship in search of the Golden Fleece, teaming up with Hercules and different Greek Gods while fighting hordes of monsters and God of War extras. Cool tech demos have disappointed before (looking at you Force Unleashed), but Argonauts looks to keep gameplay just as important. Fingers crossed.

6. Far Cry 2

The sequel to 2004’s critically acclaimed shooter, Far Cry 2 aims to push open-world games and graphics cards to the next-generation. Set in a huge African wilderness, players employ tons of weapons, gadgets, vehicles, and skills to play a part in the war-torn region.

5. Fable 2

It’s hard to trust Peter Molyneux. His games are great but so over hyped they seem bad on release.  After ignoring everything he says, Fable II looks like an engaging fantasy adventure with a real emphasis on that fable_2role-playing we always forget about.  Local and online co-op and some of the funniest achievements yet (Chicken kicker and Hunter are my top priority) are features even Molyneux has yet to spoil for me.

4. Resistance 2

8 player online campaign. 60 player war zones. And Starbuck. Insomniac’s pushing PS3 capabilities with some features and exciting gameplay.  Assuming the online powerhouse pulls through, Resistance 2 could be the online shooting king for the holiday season. Sorry Gears, November’s just too late.

3. Dead Space

EA’s pushing a new franchise without Sims in the name. Shockingly it looks amazing. This sci-fi horror survival game looks gorgeous with an equally intriguing story and some exciting gameplay ideas that make my thumbs twitch.

2. Fallout 3

Gamers once again emerge from the Vault with a mission and Pip-Boy.  The Elder Scroll mavens at Bethesda apply their open-world know how to this first/third person RPG. The team creates an apocalyptic Washington DC (which will be disturbingly pleasing in this political climate) filled with mutants, giant insects, and your destiny. Plus, the game’s really bloody, so yay.

1. LittleBigPlanet

Certain to be the cutes game of the year, LittleBigPlanet offers too much awesome not be camping out in front of GameStop right now. First, there’s a lengthy campaign filled with physics-powered plaforming goodness and co-op slapping contests. After you finish the 12 plus hours, there’s the most impressive set of creation tools in console gaming history built right in, allowing you to build all the penis shaped-levels you can dream up and share with the world. This means never-ending hours of levels to play, build, and share. And let’s not forget Sackboy. Maybe I’m just a sucker for sadistic cuteness.

Honorable mentions

I did say this month was huge. Here are more games to keep your eyes out for:

Motorstorm: Pacific Rim

Spider-Man: Web of Shadows (It looks like it might be good, but don’t hold your breath)

Wii Music (I fear it like a sneezing child near a salad bar, but Nintendo seems to think video games are better without a challenge)

Guitar Hero World Tour

Legendary

Saints Row 2

Golden Axe: Beast Rider

Fracture

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July 28th, 2008

Categories: Comic books, Video games

Comic book video games have well documented crapiness with a few shining gems.  The problem is comic book geeks (like me) want these comic book games. We want to feel like Spider-Man, and Superman, and Batman.  These are the comic books game that will best bring to life a new super hero experience.

7. Flash

A sandbox Central City might not be on everyone’s Christmas list, but it’s the only way to do Flash justice.  This speedster needs a huge environment to zoom through, fighting Gorilla Grodd, Mirror Master, and Reverse Flash as he tries to save his iron_man wife and kids (this is the Wally West Flash, Barry Allen’s unlockable). Key battles pit you against teamed up villains for high pressure boss battles.

6. Real Iron Man game

The recent Iron Man game unfortunately sucked. But this awesome character should be a video game staple.  Let’s revamp the controls (more control, less speed) and focus the campaign on the Mandarin and his rag-tag group of baddies. The twist is this is an action/business simulation game.

In Mega Man-esque level choosing, you fight Whirlwind, Dreadknight, Crimson Dynamo, and more. Give us some epic boss battles with Fin Fang Foom and Ultimo and even a Dr. Doom sidequest.

The business sim comes from Tony Stark. You choose how to run Stark Enterprises, with some investments making the company more valuable and other investments making your armor more powerful.  By running the company well, you make money in order to buy those upgrades and other armor types. If you run the company badly, Justin Hammer will buy it up and you won’t be able to upgrade your armor.

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July 14th, 2008

Categories: Technology, The 7

segway

7. Vespa

These cute motored scooters seem innocent, but an imaginative geek can turn the modest exterior into an exciting ride of their life.  We might not all pull a Jason Bourne, but it’s worth a try.

6. Segway

The anti-climatic revoutionizer of personal transportation might not have changed the world, but it’s still damn fun to ride.

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June 23rd, 2008

Categories: The 7, Video games

Video games have made mundane jobs like mayor and farmer fun, so just think how good good jobs can be. These are the jobs we’ve gotten to taste in video games and realized we really like them and wouldn’t mind getting paid for our labors. Hell, for 20-40 hours, getting paid to play video games is the real number 1

7. Treasure hunter

The swamps might be gross and the monsters might be terrifying, but just think of the excitement. Now the best you can hope for is to vicariously live through your slutty friend’s dating drama. I’ll take Indiana Jones style tomb raiding over slutty friend’s any day.

6. Rock star

Color matching like a 2-year-old was never so fun. And add the cheering crowds, wild parties, and maybe even a psycho circus you’ve got a recipe for awesome fun and inappropriateness, which is by default fun. So let’s get ready to rock.

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June 2nd, 2008

Categories: Comic books, Movies, Television, The 7

Rich people are great to watch, but sometimes the staff is even better. While the rich makes fools of themselves, their butlers have to clean up the mess - whether its chocolate sauce all over the living room or a dented Batmobile. These butlers make our lives, the viewers, better for all the work they do…and don’t do.

7. Geoffrey Butler

An accomplished Olympic runner and Oxford University alum, Geoffrey Butler left England after cheating in a race and edwin_jarvisgetting slapped by the Queen. Thus his career in buttling was realized in the sitcom the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, providing the Banks family with much needed sarcasm.

6. Edwin Jarvis

Iron Man’s invaluable butler Edwin Jarvis has become a staple of the Marvel Universe, offering his skills to the entire Avengers and Fantastic Four, helping host alien dignitaries and babysitting super powered children. He’s even served the Avengers for their entire existence, longer even than Captain America.

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May 21st, 2008

Categories: Technology, The 7

Scientific development constantly moves, introducing new gadgets and gizmos at a shocking pace.  But some things just don’t happen fast enough.  Science fiction predicted hundreds of amazing things we’d be doing now from traveling space to flying with jet packs.  Sadly, all we got was the internet and iPods.  These seven dream technologies should be the focus of every scientist or inventor because, well, I said so.

7. Commercial space travel

Science fiction from the past century has promised human settlements of the Moon, Mars, and more beginning ten years ago.  They failed to uphold this promise.  I want to be able to go for a moon walk for about as much as the red-eye to DC.  And if I want to vacation on the barren lands of Mars, I should be able to.  Earth has gotten too boring, we’ve seen it all.  Time for something new.

6. Cheap, reliable energy

Between global warming and gas prices, non-polluting energy would be a welcomed solution.  Whether it’s large scale hydrogen, solar, wind, or nuclear power, we need to band together to save the world and shut up those damn pundits and their gas price graphs.  Super-efficient batteries for our laptops and gaming handhelds would be awesome too.

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May 12th, 2008

Categories: Comic books, Movies, The 7

One of the best parts of any geek movie is debating the casting. Fan favorites are chosen years before comics or books even get optioned by Hollywood, so we feel strongly about our opinions. While dreams can’t always come true, and rarely do, here are some of the best performances by actors portraying our favorite geek icons.

chris_evans_human_torch7. Chris Evans as Human Torch

Amid the bright and perky mediocrity that is the Fantastic Four movie, Chris Evans shines surprisingly bright. Even without being blond, Evans played the arrogant, womanizing, spotlight stealing narcissist as if he lived the role everyday. Every funny like came from this man’s mouth. On top of that, but this guy has a real super-hero’s body, and filmmakers didn’t seem to mind showing off that fake, regulating Evans to nothing but a towel or spandex for the majority of both films.

6. Mickey Rourke as Marv

Innovative film techniques alone didn’t make Sin City one of the greatest comic book movies. Mickey Rourke portrayed Sin City’s most recognizable hero with all the subtly of a fist to the face, just the way he should. Rourke mixed Marv’s self-hatred with a chiseled exterior, eventuated by the awesome visual effects, creating the perfect movie representation of the modern film noir bad ass.

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May 6th, 2008

Categories: Comic books, Television, The 7, Video games

mirror_master 7. Mastermind

The manipulative master of, shockingly, minds, had the power to create illusions, making people see what isn’t there.  He greatly amplified his powers using a mind-tap mechanism to create an all-new reality for Jean Grey, who at the time was possessed by the Phoenix.  Mastermind’s fantasy world led to Jean Grey becoming the evil Dark Phoenix, destroying solar systems and killing billions.  Sure Mastermind didn’t mean to be such a dick, but that’s what happens when you play with fire.  If only he could master that too.

6. Mirror Master

Three people have held the mantle Mirror Master, showing just how popular mirrors can be.  The most recent Mirror Master, Evan McCulloch, not only can use mirrors as dimensional portals (hella cool), but he also speaks with a Scottish accent.  This has no bearing on his addiction to cocaine.

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April 21st, 2008

Categories: Comic books, Movies, Television, The 7

I don’t mean to condone or glorify the acts of these, disturbed individuals. The truth is serial killers are damn captivating characters, with their arrogance, creativity, and lust for blood. It’s fun to root for the villains, these deplorable cretins obsessed with death and destruction. These are the coolest serial killers who you don’t want to meet in a dark or even well lit alley. (Spoilers included)

michael_myers 7. Michael Myers

The featured killer of the Halloween movies, Michael Myers began his career killing his older sister. Fifteen years later he escaped his sanitarium, returning to his home town to kill teenagers especially Jamie Lee Curtis who managed to fend off the fiend long enough for help to arrive. But after every movie, Myers manages to survive gunshots, car crashes, explosions, and more to return again for more murder and mayhem.

6. Norman Bates

Alfred Hitchcock’s classic film Psycho inspired a generation to take baths. Bates suffers from dissociative identity disorder, dressing up and pretending to be his mother. He developed this to deal with murdering his mother who spent years abusing him. His classic shower murder of Marion Crane remains his crowning achievement, but anytime Bates, or his mother, were threatened, the mother took over and took care of business.

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