Classes begin this week this at my place of graduate studies, the University of Chicago. To celebrate my upcoming year of paying to work harder than when I was paid to work, I’m praising the many fictional graduates of this fine institution. So if/when I fail out, we’ll know which fake people are smarter than me (let’s remember Cameron Diaz from My Best Friend’s Wedding graduated in a major that doesn’t even exist here).

7. Kitty Pryde

University of Chicago isn’t so bad. Apparently it’s better than a night out with Magneto.  The walking-through-walls mutant member of the X-Men spent some time away from super heroics at the University. Unfortunately her powers were not enough to make X-Men 3 a good movie.

6. Hal

Wunderkind mathematician Hal made quite a name for himself during his days at the University, long before appearing in the play and film Proof.  Of course, like most students here, he ended up suffering mental problems after leaving and struggled to accomplish anything else.  So he turned to theater. That U of C degree really opens doors.

5. Richard Kimble

Renown vascular surgeon Richard Kimble graduated from University of Chicago and made sure to visit like all good alumni. Kimble actually spent some time at the University’s science library, John Crerar, in his big screen Fugitive, as he tried to find the truth behind his wife’s murder. Now that’s a helpful library.

4. Brandon Shaw and Philip Morgan

Two murderers might not be the ideal representatives for a respected research institution, but creative murders have to deserve some credit.  Brandon Shaw and Philip Morgan starred in the Alfred Hitchcock movie The Rope based on University of Chicago students Leopold and Loeb. So technically the characters aren’t even U. of C. students - the real murders are. Best to avoid those classes.

3. Jack McCoy

New York City’s newest District Attorney and long time Executive Assistant District Attorney Jack McCoy brings Law and Order on an hourly basis across almost half a dozen TV stations.  His aggressive, bend the rules for justice gives all ethical standards come finals time.

2. Harry and Sally

The love duo known for late night phone calls and picky eating habits began their life on the steps of the University.  After both completing years of learning, the two drove to New York City and began their hilarious two hour life together.

1. Indiana Jones

Talk about the perfect graduate. He’s a super smart action hero with a kick-ass whip and a sexy smile.  Not the most common combination on campus in a student, let alone an archaeology professor. It’s good to have something to aspire to.